My brother's Engagement~ the not so Kadazan/Dusan way

It was postponed twice, but they said third time’s the charm. So, first tradition I learn, in the event of the death of close family member, no festivity is to be held until after the 40 days of mourning, that sadly including my brother schedule engagement. Had it been a schedule wedding, no over ‘fun’ is to be included in the wedding programme (meaning no singing/band or ‘over’ drunkenness).

Second, make sure ‘most’ of the family members are there to join the celebration. Make the schedule fit for all. So, the third time was two days ago.

One week before the engagement, my parents went over to the lady house for final arrangement. The agreement include the ‘Nopung’ (RM1 K in cash), timeline of marriage arrangement (within two years from the date of engagement), the 'Sogit' (one live pig at least an arm long to be sent to the lady house one day before the engagement), 'Notohiban' (usually in the form of golden ring to the older sister/sisters who had not gotten married yet), and ‘belanja hangus’ (the agreed amount of RM to be paid in cash one month before the wedding).  

Engagement rings

The second tradition I learn, the male entourage team and the ‘hantaran’ must be in odd numbers. So, my sister made a list of who’s joining and not joining. The total is 21. Odd enough huh..

On D-Day, we arrived at the lady house at 945am and the village chief (ketua kampung) arrived around 1045am and the formality of engagement begins.

Three forms were filled up and after being signed by six witnesses, my brother and his fiancee and lastly the sign & stamp of the chief village which confirmed the validity of the engagement. That was the end from the “man-made law” point of view.

The ceremony then proceed to the religious point of view, where the blessing of the engagement rings were made, and a short sermon from the invited catechist. At 12:03 noon, my brother is pronounce engaged both in the eye of law and God.

The Opening Prayer

The third and last tradition I learn was that, all the male entourage must leave the lady house before 2pm..! So, after taking the final family picture we left at 145pm. 

To my big brother and his fiancée, congratulation and may the journey of your life together begins here…!