My Heritage

As I was catching my breath sitting on a bench after a long run last week, out of the blue an older man approaches me. Speaking in Dusun language He asked “Waro tulun poindikau siti?”-meaning anyone sitting here?. It is a long forgotten language of my heritage.

You see, like many Sabahan, I am a mixed breed. My mom is a Kadazan. My father is a mixed breed himself (Kadazan and Chinese) he excels in Kadazan language but losses the Chinese heritage.

My siblings and I unfortunately did not learn the language or the culture of my parents. I guess they gave up all that was common and known to them to make a new life without the heritage they were born to.

I only managed to pick up the common language conversation thanks to my late grandmother who nursed me during my childhood years. I was sent to study in a Chinese primary school so for the most part of my childhood I think I am a Chinese.

It is later in my working years that I ponder “Who am I?. I speak the language of my great grandfather but have never known the culture or the custom of a Chinese. I worship in my great grandmother language in church but never really spoke the language. After the passing of my grandfather, my family never really celebrate Chinese New Year and we never really celebrate Kaamatan either.

I envied those who are able to call certain festival as their owned and celebrate their culture as much as they cherish their language. To say that I'm proud of my mixed heritage is an understatement. How can I? If I only speak the language of others and forsake my own language.