When you forgive, make sure you remember to forget.

The Roman Catholic will celebrate the coming of Advent beginning next week; it is time of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus at Christmas. It also marks the end of another liturgical year.

Last Sunday, the priest ended his homilies by saying make peace with your brothers, love your enemies and do good to them that hate you. What a profound ending..! Penitential act or popular known as confession always comes hand in hand with Easter and Christmas celebration. It is a chance for the church congregation to confess their sins and ask for the God forgiveness. 

My first apology- I remember. My younger sister was born 8 years after me. So, before her it is just me and my older brother. Growing up, he is my saviour for he always took the blame and punishment for me- like an older brother would be. Though we are just a year apart, I have always been the dominant but reserve type but he has a way with people as he mingles freely with people. 

Our biggest fight was over something I cannot now remember and it has never gotten physical but that day, out of anger I bit him on his back and he bled. My mom rushed to his cried and tended to his injury, while my late grandmother pulled me to one side and start lecturing me in kadazan language I couldn’t even comprehend and naturally I started to cry. After some times, my mom seated us on our old sofa and demands that I apologised but I decline and pointing my finger to say that it was entirely my brother fault.

The kadazan/dusun has a rich culture of respect. As a ritual, I was required to take a pinch of salt and fed it to my brother as a sign of apologise and truce. Between force and tears, I took a pinch of salt between my thumb and index finger and fed it to my brother. 

Later that night, as I lay awake on my bed with resentment and anger towards my brother, I raised my fingers-how long can I keep this anger, 1 day, 3 days, 5, 10 days? I tossed my head then a big yawn- I will think about it tomorrow-Ho-hum! Another big yawn.

The next morning, during breakfast, to my surprise my brother offers me his milk. Ah, it was a sign of truce, I smiled, grabbed the glass and say that I was sorry and later we walked together to school. At seven, I learn to forgive-!

How easy it was to forgive and forget as child. As adult, forgiveness is like trying to lift a burden of 100kg, we seek causes, reasons and excuses to forgive, maybe we ought to take it easy like a child mind would be then the world will be a better place to live in.